just survived the first fart of the relationship.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
