The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
