Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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