i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize