and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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