It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't deserve a penis
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize