took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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