Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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