More tranny stories later!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
3pm strippers are depressing
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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