She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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