does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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