it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
