My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I wish you could order shots online.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
