brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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