brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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