Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
