A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
