We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
