what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
