Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
