so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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