I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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