I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
another moral hangover. fuck.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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