You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
