Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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