dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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