she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
