I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
