Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
