My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
