where am i from again
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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