He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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