i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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