Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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