Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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