Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
