Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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