OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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