i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
