But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
