there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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