I just threw up on my dentist
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
