I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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