I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize