I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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