How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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