I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
