You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
