Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
