Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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