The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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