Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
God, I missed his penis.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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