VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
ttyl tear gas
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize