"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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