I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
