Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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