Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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