i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
