Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
