hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
