its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
